Allergic to raw oysters (or don't like the taste nor feeling in your mouth)? Well, you can still enjoy some of the crispiest fried 'oysters' you ever had on a plate with French fries and tartar sauce or in a big ol' po-boy sandwich slathered with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and hot sauce. And if you truly know how to keep a secret, nobody but nobody will ever be able to tell that you're not eating the real deals. Here's the trickery!

1/12 lbs. medium-large white mushrooms

3/4 cup all purpose flour

4 whole eggs, well beaten + 1 cup buttermilk

2 tsp. Frank Davis Vegetable Seasoning (or sea salt)

2/3 tsp. Hungarian paprika

1/2 tsp. coarse-ground black pepper

2 cups Frank Davis Gourmet Fish Fry

64 oz. corn oil for frying

Frank Davis Sprinkling Spice for topping

Fresh lemon wedges

First off, even though you've been told a million times not to. . .wash the mushrooms. . .but pat them dry with cloth kitchen towels and remove their stems. Then, while there's still a skosh of moisture in the mushroom caps, coat them with the flour and set them aside.

In the meantime, place the buttermilk and the eggs in a medium size bowl, along with the vegetable seasoning, paprika, and the black pepper, and blend the mixture well.

Then, a few at a time, dip the 'shrooms into the buttermilk mix.

Immediately, drop them into a baking pan containing the fish fry and coat them thoroughly (you can also put the fish fry in a heavy-plastic zipper bag and shake the 'shrooms to coat them).

Then when you're ready to eat, heat about 2 to 3 inches of oil to 375 degrees in a heavy, cast iron, black skillet. All that's left is to fry a few mushrooms at a time for about 2 to 3 minutes or until they turn golden brown and crispy. Oh I suggest you gently turn them several times as they fry.

Serve 'em up nice and hot with a final touch of sprinkling spice and a fresh lemon wedge. You can do the same presentations with these that you do with 'real oysters.'


Chef's Notes:

Make sure that the mushrooms you buy are the whitest you can find do not buy any with bruised or browned spots on them.

The very minute they come out of the fryer, drain them thoroughly on either several layers of absorbent paper towels or several thicknesses of brown paper.

If you can't find my seasonings and fish fry where you shop, you can get them on-line at