Part Three: A heart-stopping patty and a Slidell surprise
Tucker’s
Tavern is located at 635 S. Roman Street, 522-0440 & The
Times Bar and Grill is located at 1827 Front Street,
Slidell, 985-639-3335
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Tucker's Tavern
It was out there, looming like the myth of El Dorado or Atlantis…the deep
fried burger. I’d heard rumor of it for years: a whisper here, a grumble
there. Some of the tales were believable, others were not. “Dude, I hear
they make the whole burger, lettuce and all, and then deep fry it,” one
podna regaled one afternoon.
“You
mean, even the bun?” I asked incredulously.
Well, I’ve
never had one myself, but that’s what
my brother’s roommate’s cousin’s step-uncle told me.”
Yeah…right.
So
being the culinary Cousteau that I am, I decided to plumb the depths of the
lower CBD and head on over to Tucker’s Saloon and check out this supposed
behemoth with my own eyes.
Tucker’s is a stone’s throw from Poydras and Claiborne, just down
the road from the Dome. A friendly enough looking place, I wandered in there
one weeknight ready to take on this Chimera of deep-fried deliciousness. With
a wide-open dining area and a bar that takes up one half of the place, Tucker’s
lives up to the Saloon portion of its moniker, but don’t let that sway
you, this place is all about the beef…battered that is.
So my running partner and I saddled up to the bar and took a gander at their
formidable lineup of burgers. Man, I was blown away reading the descriptions…“The
Big Club,” a ½ pound burger stuffed with ham, turkey, bacon, Swiss
cheese, American cheese, battered and then topped with ranch dressing…or
the unbelievable “Cordon Tuck,” a ½ pound burger stuffed
with Swiss cheese, ham, A GRILLED CHICKEN BREAST, battered and fried.
Are you kidding me, a chicken breast in a burger? My mind, nor my stomach, could
comprehend the gastronomic complexities of either of those, so instead I went
with “The Big Cajun” – mozzarella, cheddar, bacon and sausage
- and my podna got “The Big Tuck” – pepperjack, American and
bacon.
I guess it was the prospect of such a unique dining situation, or perhaps it
was the added cholesterol, but these burgers sparked quite an in-depth analysis
by my podna and me. First off, there was the actual mechanics of the fried patty.
According to our waitress, the burgers are assembled by taking two quarter-pound
patties, piling the stuffing in-between, then battering and frying ‘em.
This leads to a distinct crunchy covering on the burger that seals in the flavor
(and heat), but also maintains the structural integrity of the patty despite
its heft. The bun however was untoasted, and in the case of The Big Cajun, soaked
in hot sauce, which led to a reversal of the usual sloppy burger/sturdy bun
scenario. (Believe me, when you’ve had as many burgers as I’ve had,
you tend to notice such things.)
As far as the actual flavor of the burger, it was quite tasty. The cheeses were
excellent additions to the well-seasoned patty. But I was disappointed with
the sausage and the bacon. They lost their identity to the overwhelming personality
of the burger, and they ended up tasting like burger-flavored bacon and burger-flavored
sausage.
As far as sides go, stick with the steak fries as opposed to the onion rings.
They give you a whole truckload of the blissfully crispy fries with your burger,
but their onion rings are of the pre-battered variety and they taste like they
came out of the freezer.
Price-wise, Tucker’s can hang with any burger joint around. The massive
meal is right around $8, and if you’re still hungry after that I suggest
you take the short trip over to Charity and get them to make sure you’re
still alive.
The Times Bar and Grill
The next stop on the burger train was actually at a train station. Really, I’m
not kiddin’. The Times Bar and Grill is located in the depot and man,
was I surprised by the burger treat we rolled into.
Now I know y’all are probably gettin’ tired of me railin’
on and on about toasted buns. I know this is a search for the best burger, but
when you think about it…the bun is half of that equation. Without it,
I’d be combing cafeterias around the city looking for the best Salisbury
steak. There’s just somethin’ about that crisp, firm bun hoisting
the weight of a scrumptiously seasoned burger patty that really completes the
equation for me. Don’t believe it? Well, head on over to Slidell and check
out the Times burger and tell me toastin’ isn’t the way to go.
Now when y’all do stop by the Times, one of the first things you’ll
notice as you check the place out is a back wall of pictures, mainly of large,
full-looking men. This shrine is to those brave souls who have taken on the
mighty pound and a half Times burger and won. With a gauntlet of that size lying
on the table, my first instinct was to order up and show ‘em how it was
done. However, cooler heads prevailed and my running partner convinced me that
such notoriety would be ill-advised given my “Unknown” nature.
So instead, I went with a medium-rare version of the Times’ Swiss burger.
Covered in loads of Swiss cheese and mushrooms, this hearty beef patty sang
with authentic grilled flavor prepared at the exact temperature I requested.
Then there was the bun. This crunchy, yet yielding blanket of bread was the
quintessential burger bun. The combination of the mouth-watering meat and crisp
bread made for hamburger heaven.
That trip to celestial heights was however derailed just a tad when I sampled
some of the side items The Times had to offer. Out of the sweet potato fries,
fried pickles and onion rings, I’d have to give a hesitant nod to the
onion rings, only because the other two were either too soggy or too salty.
As far as prices go, the Times Burger runs in the typical range, around $7.
Next Week: Burgers gourmet-style and rediscovering a once lost treasure.
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