Forecast: Nightmarish Saints offseason nearly over

Forecast: Nightmarish Saints offseason nearly over

Credit: AP

Forecast: Nightmarish Saints offseason nearly over

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wwltv.com

Posted on May 2, 2012 at 12:51 PM

Want some good news? The nightmare known as the 2012 New Orleans Saints off season is wrapping up and when Drew Brees finally signs it will end on a high note.

Now that the Saints have drafted a bunch of players no one has heard of we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The Saints have seen their head coach and middle linebacker suspended for the season, their GM accused of going full Richard Nixon wire tapping, and had tapes surface of former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams sounding like Mel Gibson from Braveheart only with a lot more four letter words.

ESPN sent a reporter down to New Orleans to look under every rock and dig up any buried bodies the Saints might have. I’m half expecting ESPN to report Mickey Loomis was the second gunman in the Kennedy assassination, started the war in Syria, and DOESN’T LIFT THE SEAT UP WHILE IN THE BATHROOM. It’s made for a fun off season. Would it kill ESPN when they drop their next Saints bombshell to have a key source go on the record?

September and actual games can’t get here soon enough.

I’m not going to rant and rave the NFL is unfair in its sanctions against the Saints because you’ve read enough of those. What I will say is to all those media types and anyone else saying the Saints Super Bowl win is tainted because of all this: DROP DEAD.

I’VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF SO CALLED MEDIA TELLING ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT THE SAINTS SCANDALS.

You know what Saints football is to 95 percent of fans of the team? A TV show we watch on Sunday. It’s no different than Mad Men or Hawaii Five-O. Do you think anybody who watches reruns of Two and A-Half Men thinks, “Man I loved that show when Charlie Sheen was on it but after he went crazy I can’t watch old episodes and think anything but this show IS TAINTED.”

Please. The truth is Saints fans are mad at Roger Goodell because what he’s done affects the Saints chances of winning. I understand Goodell is hammering the Saints to cover the NFL’s rear end against lawsuits by retired players just don’t tell me I should care deeply.

I want the Saints to win games. Nothing else really matters to me. What exactly do all these media types screaming outrage and yapping about tainted titles want? Saints fans to divorce the team and become Falcon fans perhaps? No thanks; I’d rather watch the WNBA in a cell in Guantanamo Bay.

In a weird way I’ve never been more excited for a Saints season.

How exactly is this circus freak show of multiple head coaches and player suspensions going to go? Are the Saints going to have multiple coaches talk to the media at the podium post game like they did after the draft? Will Joe Vitt channel his inner Tony Soprano and wear a track suit during games?

Mickey Loomis mentioned how the Saints are now thought of as the Evil Empire so can we expect the Saints to embrace the black hat villain role? The thought of the Saints running up the score in the first few games of the year and seeing Skip Bayless’ head explode makes me smile.

Lost in all the chaos of the bounties is the Saints have quietly rebuilt nearly half their defense. They’ll have all new linebackers, new coordinator, and new defensive tackles.

And they still have #9 because Drew Brees will probably sign shortly. By the way, every time the NFL drops bad news on the Saints Mickey Loomis always announces a player signing the same day. Mickey, if you announced the Brees signing today it would be the ultimate stick it move to the NFL. Just saying.

Whenever I hear national media say the loss of Sean Payton for a year will doom the Saints I tell myself the following; Barry Switzer won a Super Bowl with the Cowboys. I don’t think he did much more than stand on the sideline during games and tell jokes during press conferences. If Barry Switzer can win a Super Bowl Joe Vitt/who ever coaches the first six games can.

2012 will be the most interesting year in Saints history. It’s only four months away. Hopefully we’ll get there and the only big news from the Saints before then will be Drew Brees at a podium smiling with Tom Benson.

I’ve had enough bad breaking Saints news to last me until 2034.

 

Ralph Malbrough is a Saints fan living in Houston. Email him at ralphmalbrough@hotmail.com, find him on facebook, follow him on twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/MilneMalbrough or download his podcast at Itunes.         

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