NEW ORLEANS — I don't know about you but I did not properly prepare for the 2021 Saints Injury Apocalypse. If I had known the 2021 Saints were going to be overwhelmed with injuries and turn from a 5-2 NFL team with an above average offense into – whatever we currently are subjected to – I would have treated the 2021 Saints season like I was preparing for hurricane season.
Just like we all need to make certain preparations for hurricane season like planning an evacuation route, getting important documents in one place, having enough water, batteries, plywood, etc -- I needed to do Saints Injury Apocalypse preparations. I needed more top shelf booze, better game day snacks, and something soft and fluffy to throw at the wall when the Saints offense goes 3 and out because they are missing like a thousand key players.
Mostly, I should have disabled ESPN and WWLTV.com Saints breaking news alerts on my phone because 99.9% of all 2021 Saints updates between games have been so consistently awful the fact Deonte Harris 3-game suspension became official and Cam Jordan got put on the COVID-19 list this week didn't even phase me. I might be dead inside.
I'm 45 years old and I've never seen a Saints team completely destroyed by injuries like this. The 2000 Saints also had a ton of injuries, but while that team's injuries included their starting quarterback, running back, tight end, safety, and corner among others; the 2000 Saints strength was their dominant offensive and defensive lines which remained almost injury free. The offensive line started the same five players every game. I can barely even remember what that even feels like it's been so long since the Saints were lucky enough to be blessed with it.
While the 2000 Saints had a laundry list of injuries, which in hilarious Saints dark comedy fashion included losing Joe Horn and corner Alex Molden during the team's first ever playoff win against the World Champion St. Louis Rams, their amount of injuries pale in comparison to the 2021 Saints.
The 2021 Saints have had seven starters on offense miss significant time or be lost for the season. In case you were wondering that includes Jameis Winston, Michael Thomas, Terron Armstead, Ryan Ramcyzk, Andrus Peat, Alvin Kamara, and Adam Trautman. Oh and Taysom is playing through a hurt foot and injured finger.
In August I felt like if the Saints could just survive the first seven weeks until the cavalry of injured players returned, the 2021 season could be really fun down the stretch. The Saints didn't just survive the first seven weeks, they thrived, but the cavalry never arrived. In fact, the exact opposite of reinforcements coming happened, as more players got hurt and suspended. The Saints offense on Thanksgiving against the Buffalo Bills was the kind of unit that starts the final game of the preseason.
One of the most frustrating things about the Saints Injury Apocalypse is there isn't anyone to really blame and yell at for the disappointment the Saints 2021 season has morphed into. The only joy any Saints fan can derive from losing is the assessment of blame and then treating that person with scorn. Maybe Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis should have prepared better at receiver because they knew Michael Thomas' rehab was a mess, but if the Saints had an average NFL receiver on the roster would that alone have avoided the team's current five-game skid? I doubt it.
The 2021 Saints Injury Apocalypse is undefeated and so powerful it even claimed my son. He broke his elbow falling off the monkey bars at the park. He's out 3 to 6 weeks and his return for holiday season festivities is doubtful. I'm pretty sure he's now on the Saints list of injured players.
The sadness of the 2021 Saints really hit home Monday night when I was watching New England win in Buffalo while throwing 3 passes. The Saints went to New England in Week 3, suffocated that tremendous Patriot running game with a pillow, and then finished Bill Belichick off by jamming Taysom right down his throat. The Saints should be like 9-3 and we should be arguing over whether the Saints can win a Super Bowl with Jameis Winston and no real wide receivers to speak of. Instead we are staring into the abyss of losing to the New York Jets. There are no survivors in the 2021 Saints Injury Apocalypse, especially our dreams of what should have been.
Saints Fan Mood and Meditation Music: It's The End of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) – R.E.M.
It sure feels like the end of the world for Saints fans doesn't it? A song about the end times shouldn't rock this good. This song is like me during the week; I feel fine and talk myself into believing this is the week the Saints slide ends but it never does. I find delusional optimism during the week about the Saints is fun. Why suffer thinking of all the bad things that will happen during the week waiting for game day AND then suffer again watching it? This song really is delusional optimism and I'm here for it.
The Games
Last Week: 2-3
Season: 26-29
New Orleans (-6) at New York Jets: On the one hand, I've watched the Saints these last five weeks and they should not be favored by six points over any football team on earth, much less a professional one. On the other hand they are facing the Jets, the miracle cure for any desperate and struggling NFL team the last 50 years. The 0-14 1980 Saints beat the Jets. The 2-8 2005 Saints beat the Jets. Any competent NFL beats the Jets. If Taysom Hill's hand wasn't hurt and if the Saints were like 25% healthier this would be a layup. The Jets are so poorly coached, and believe it or not, have a WORSE kicking situation than the Saints. Believe me it's true. The Jets are on their 9th kicker since 2017!
If the Saints lose to the Jets, it means they've hit bottom, broke out a drill, and are burrowing to the earth's core. I'm not saying you should break out a paper bag, scribble Ain'ts on it and wear it, but if the Saints lose to the Jets, I'd understand your urge to do so.
This can't happen. They have to beat the Jets. It's the Jets. It''ll be ugly but they'll find a way.
Saints 17-10
Pittsburgh (+3.5) at Minnesota: The Saints are in complete free fall but the 6th and 7th NFC playoff spots are still SOOO close. The Vikings find new comedic ways to lose every week.
Steelers 21-17
Dallas (-4) vs Washington: The Cowboys did not impress me against the Saints. If Taysom doesn't injure his finger that game is a lot closer.
Cowboys 27-21
Carolina (-2.5) vs. Atlanta: The Panthers fired offensive coordinator Joe Brady. Did they expect him to transport Cam Newton back to 2015 when Cam was good?
Panthers 24-20
Cincinnati (-1.5) vs San Francisco: Trey Hendrickson was spectacular with the Saints in 2020 and now with the Bengals he's even better.
Sigh.
Bengals 31-20