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Forecast: I hate the NFL canned crowd noise - plus Saints will be OK, just not this week

The artificial crowd noise has the authenticity of imitation crab meat in your mama's gumbo.

I don't how to say this and it might be the most controversial football opinion in the history of the world but the fake crowd noise being pumped into these NFL games with no fans is lame, annoying, and stupid. The artificial crowd noise has the authenticity of imitation crab meat in your mama's gumbo.

Why is the NFL intent on trying to give us a television presentation that pretends 2020 football is anything close to normal? Sure having absolutely zero crowd noise would be weird at first, but I'd rather a completely unique football experience than what I've been given the first two weeks. 

The pumped in crowd noise sounds like what 2007 Madden football on a Sony PlayStation would be if it came to life and we were forced to watch it. Wouldn't the NFL experience be way more interesting in 2020 without fans at games if we could hear every player and coach? Just add in a delay for the four-letter explosions.

It wouldn't be any stranger to get used to than the invented crowd noise with an empty stadium show we currently get. The possibility of listening to Sean Payton berate an official, the opponent, or even a Saints player or coach is infinitely more intriguing than the crowd noise mp3 file the NFL is currently force feeding us.

The crowd noise 'celebrations' for the home team's good plays sound like how the Superdome crowd reacts when we realize two fans are fighting in the stands behind us. When Janoris Jenkins had the pick 6 of Tom Brady in Week 1, I instinctively turned around and looked up to see when two drunk Saints fans were going to be escorted out by NOPD because they decided to put hands on each other over a Taysom Hill argument.

Why must we try to create a 'normal' football Sunday? Let's get kooky and create something that we can experience for hopefully the first and last time because of a pandemic. Authentic game-day audio NFL! I want it and I want it now! Take your fraudulent crowd noise and throw it in the trash. Add this to my list of reasons to hate Roger Goodell.

Saints Fan Mood and Meditation Music: Just Got Paid -- NSYNC

My old pal Gus Kattengell of ESPN NOLA 100.3 FM had a hysterical segment this week on his radio show where he asked since the Saints offense is out of sync, which NSYNC song best describes your mood. Gus, I nominate 'Just Got Paid'. The reason is Alvin Kamara just got a fresh 5-year 75-million-dollar contract and looked worth every penny Monday in Las Vegas. If Michael Thomas is out an extended period of time, Kamara has to be amazing and carry the offense. He looks ready, and by the way, Alvin doing his post-game interview Monday night shirtless was the best. He's a treasure and I'm glad he's gonna spend all his best years in New Orleans.

The Games

Green Bay (+3.5) at New Orleans: You probably read like 50 stories on the 'Narrative' of how Drew Brees is in decline, a possibly death spiral, and can't throw the ball more than 5 feet down the field. I'm not concerned about Drew. At this point he and Sean Payton know exactly what he is. The offense was actually pretty good until Drew threw the interception and then on the following drive the Saints had 3 consecutive penalties after getting into Raiders territory. Those problems are fixable.

What might not be fixable is the Saints pass rush inconsistency. After sacking Raiders quarterback Derek Carr three times in the first quarter, they didn't put him on the ground the rest of the night. Cam Jordan was facing off against Las Vegas' third string offensive tackle and was mostly invisible. Hopefully Cam gets in a groove and Marcus Davenport's return gives life to the pass rush but until the pass rush gets rolling the Saints defense will likely be wildly inconsistent. 

Marshon Lattimore only seems interested in playing great against great receivers, putting me in the strange position of hoping star Packers' receiver Davante Adams plays Sunday so Lattimore can be fully engaged. Maybe the Saints should try to convince Marshon he's facing Mike Evans every week since Lattimore's personal animosity towards Evans means he always delivers his A game against Tampa.

The conventional wisdom was the Saints being a veteran team meant they had an advantage because of the COVID compressed offseason and training camp, but what if the opposite is true? What if Drew needs more time to get his groove back because his normal offseason wasn't possible? And what if all the injuries and shuffles on the offensive line mean it's going to take a while for Saints to hit their stride? What if Jordan needs time to recover from offseason surgery? My guess is we are in for a bumpy September and October. The Saints will be left for dead, but they'll be ok eventually. Just not Sunday night.

Packers 34-21

San Francisco (-4) at New York Giants: The 49ers stayed at the Greenbrier and their season is in shambles. Saints fans know this is not surprising at all because the Greenbrier is cursed.

49ers 24-9

Philadelphia (-5) vs Cincinnati: Joe Burrow is gonna be really good, if the Bengals complete lack of an offensive line doesn't get him killed.

Eagles 31-24

Indianapolis Colts (-10.5) vs New York Jets: Is there a more hopeless situation right now in the NFL than the Jets? Colts 27-2

Tampa Bay (-6) at Denver: John Elway is GM for life in Denver, but like the Broncos have been awful going on 5 years, so does he ever have to answer for that?

Bucs 31-10